Dear B,

So much left to say, but my heart is so full of you that it’s hard to find the words. Girlfriend, you are magic & joy to me, like blinking into the sun & seeing a kaleidoscopic rainbow. Remember when I asked you whether you were real? Because no one could be so good? You said you were normal, but I knew you were off the charts, other worldly in the extreme. Your kindness & generosity of spirit are staggering, your patience & wisdom are inspiration! Never judgemental yet always honest, never critical but always the most helpful. And on top all that you are still so cool & funky, you laugh at my ways, you talk and listen, which makes for the best conversation.

Being your friend, B, is like getting picked first for kickball every single time. You make me feel so special & teach me so much! I owe so much of my happiness to you, because through you I see that life is about finding all the richness & greatness & fun as one sees it, & sharing it all with abandon. Aurelio Victor is lucky to have you as his godmother, because this is your legacy. He will grow up with a mother who is a better person because of you, with a mother who is a mother in large part because you assured me I could do it.

The funny thing is, though, that everyone I’ve talked to about you shares my feelings. Isn’t that amazing, B, how so many people’s lives have been touched by you, & I mean really touched by you? You are an old, deep soul who can analyze the human condition as well as talk boys & nail polish & the weather. We all feel at home with you & what a crowd you’ve welcomed into your life, of preppies & hipsters & brains & goofballs & on & on, all of us basking & seeing clearer in your light, soaking up your warmth, receiving the endless outpouring of your love. You have made friends of your family & family of your friends, a remarkable gift in which we are taking comfort.

I want to be strong & happy for you now, but admit to feeling sad & lost & even angry that you were taken from your body so soon. In time I know you’ll help all of us move on by tuning our conversations to a different frequency, assuring us that you’re still here & listening, only quieter. I love you so much, Betty, & need you more than ever, so don’t go too far. We’ll still grow old together like we’d planned twenty years ago, because you are & will always be my best friend.

Sueña con los angelitos.

Love,

Miki